"Ode To The Lady From Fletcher Jones"
An elegy in two parts, by Sir John Reid Hatchporch


Lady from Fletcher Jones Computer Center
Mine lady of the lake
O to thou I print these words of compassion
So faceless in the midst of loss of reason
To thou I beg indulgence of mine praise
Thou glimmering lady of such poise
I long to be thy personal hardware
I desire to diagnose thy disk error
My lovely lady from...
"Fletchah Jooooooooones"


'Twas the day I found They Might Be Giants on the 'net,
I sprang to print lyrics, "Whirlpool" first in the set,
"Wheredapoodle? Wheredapoodle?" like a titwillow sang,
From the D-lab Lolita your silky words rang.

At my workplace, you're there, in your smart cap and gown,
From the chapel steps, you gracefully prance down,
Each moment calculated, each soft movement planned,
Vivaciously grinning with diploma clutched in hand.

Then the day when my music file seemed lost forever,
The computer lab seemed the most likely endeavor.
I emerged from the entrance only to see
Your Philipino face staring right back at me.

That fateful moment, in your savvy ensemble,
You came to my side and said "no need to grumble,
Your file can be saved, it is not gone,
To the right of the printah, go now, turn it onnnnn!"

Oh Fletcher Jones lady, let me be in your world,
With your pink suit and clipboard, your magic's unfurled,
More friendly than even the humblest thespian,
Lovelier than that worker who looks like a lesbian.

What in the *hell* was that about?

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